Hearth Display co-founder and CEO Mei Lin delivered this TED Talk on July 23, 2025 in New York City. We’re publishing it here, edited and abbreviated for clarity.

I was raised by teachers. My mom was a teacher. My grandmother was a teacher. And for six years, I worked in a daycare with toddlers. So you could say I grew up in classrooms. Learning environments were my norm. But nothing prepared me for how much I would learn — and unlearn — when I became a mom myself.

Eighteen months ago, on Christmas Day, my son came into this world. He was a surprise in every way—unexpected, miraculous, and born during a season when we celebrate new beginnings.

But my entry into motherhood was also a crash course in complexity. There’s no manual, no onboarding, no clear benchmarks for success. You’re learning on the job, making high-stakes decisions with incomplete information, and trying to stay grounded in something bigger than the chaos of the moment. It felt familiar — and not just because I’d worked with kids before. It felt like building a startup.

And it made me realize: we spend so much time designing systems for organizations at work to keep people on track and so much time designing systems for learning in schools — but we rarely talk about the systems of the home. Yet home is where some of the most formative learning happens. So the real question is: what messages are our home systems teaching our kids?

The invisible curriculum

There is an invisible curriculum in every household. Kids are constantly learning from us — not just what we say, but what we model.

They learn who keeps track of birthdays. Who remembers the snacks for soccer. Who updates the calendar. Who notices when the milk runs out. They learn whether family life is a shared effort — or a silent weight one person carries.

But the one thing us, parents, often fail to teach is independence. We often do things for our kids, not with them. Not because we don’t believe in them — but because we’re exhausted, or rushing, or it just feels easier in the moment. And in doing so, we miss opportunities to teach ownership, autonomy, and contribution.

Kids are constantly looking to us for cues about who they are and what they’re capable of. And when we show them we believe in their competence, they begin to believe it too.

Research backs this up. According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, the early years of life are a critical period for building executive function skills — things like planning, memory, and self-control. But these skills don’t develop in a vacuum. They grow best in environments where children are active participants, not passive observers.

My son, like most toddlers, throws food on the floor from his high chair. But what surprised me wasn't the mess — it was what he did after. I got him his own broom, just his size, and one day after lunch, I watched him push his high chair aside and begin sweeping the crumbs underneath it. No one told him to do it. He had simply watched me do it, again and again. He was modeling what he saw.

Kids are always paying attention. They're absorbing the rhythms and behaviors of our daily lives — and when we give them the tools and space to contribute, they will.

But as parents, we’re often flying blind. We don’t have systems to fall back on. We rely on memory and instinct. And all of this mental load is invisible, making it hard to share—and even harder to model.

Long before I became a mom, I was already thinking about the systems that shape family life. As I spoke with parents, educators, and caregivers, I kept hearing the same thing: the logistics of modern family life were overwhelming. People were using dozens of tools — whiteboards, spreadsheets, sticky notes — to try to keep everyone aligned. And still, the mental load was falling disproportionately on one person.

That realization led me to start my company Hearth. I wasn’t yet a parent myself, but I knew from my years working with children — and from watching my own family and my own mother, growing up — that kids are shaped by the environments we create for them. I believed that if we could give families better tools designed with intention and inclusivity, we could transform daily chaos into a shared effort.

Making the invisible visible

The big idea I want to share is this: Home is the first classroom. And the systems we use — or don’t use — teach our children every day.

We don’t need more perfection. We need more intention. When we make the invisible visible — when we show our kids the routines of family life, the tools that help us manage it, and invite them to participate—they rise to the occasion.

Even an 18 month old with a broom learns more than cleaning. In fact, studies have shown that children who are given household responsibilities at a young age are more likely to develop strong social skills, academic competence, and self-sufficiency later in life. And most importantly they are confident, resilient and ready to captain their day.

As a founder and leader, I’ve learned that many of the same principles that help children thrive — clarity, consistency, ownership— are what help teams thrive, too. When we involve people early, give them real responsibilities, and create systems that make expectations visible, we empower them to lead. Leadership, just like parenting, isn’t about control—it’s about creating the conditions where others can grow.

What I’ve learned — both as a mother and an entrepreneur — is that independence doesn’t mean disconnection. It means designing with trust.

So what can we do? We can start small:

Let your child help build the grocery list. Involve them in planning the weekly schedule.
Let them throw that tantrum when they’re frustrated and just want you to do it for them. Encourage them to take risks and believe that they can do it themselves.
Talk out loud about the decisions you’re making, so the mental load becomes
shared knowledge.
Use tools — whether it’s a calendar, a chart, or a Hearth Display—that make your systems visible.

This isn’t about outsourcing parenting to technology. It’s about using tools to
support communication, collaboration, and confidence. Because when families operate like a team, everyone thrives.

Home is where we learn who we are, so let’s make it a classroom with intention.