The holiday season is a time of magic and memory-making, but for many parents, it’s also a whirlwind of to-dos and social commitments—all while trying to maintain a semblance of routines and schedules.
To help navigate the mental load that comes along with holiday planning, we spoke with Board-Certified family physician and lead physician at Love Life, Jaclyn Tolentino, to give us her tips on how parents can find some much-needed respite during this busy time of year. Featured in Vogue, The Wall Street Journal, and Women's Health, Dr. Tolentino brings a wealth of expertise as a functional practitioner and new mom.
Here, she shares her top tips for thriving through the holiday season—balancing the frenzy, embracing self-care, and finding joy along the way.
You Can’t Pour From An Empty Cup
”The holiday season often asks a lot from us—family gatherings, gift shopping, meal planning, and trying to keep up with traditions. It’s easy to let our own needs fall to the bottom of the list, but the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
When we’re not taking care of ourselves, it’s harder to stay present, manage stress, and truly enjoy the season. Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate. It’s about refueling your energy so you can show up for your loved ones and yourself. Whether it’s a few quiet minutes in the morning with your coffee or saying ‘no’ to an extra holiday party, filling your cup first will help you stay on top of everything else.
And if guilt creeps in (as it often does for parents), remind yourself that taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You’re modeling healthy habits for your kids and creating the energy and calm they need from you.”
Make Time For Yourself, In Small Ways
“As a mom, I know how hard it can be to carve out time for yourself, especially during the holidays. While I do intentionally try to focus on my son when I’m with him, I’ve found a few ways to sneak in self-care that really help:
- Use your child’s nap time for self-care. Read a book, take a bath, or simply rest.
- Wake up a little earlier than your kids to enjoy some quiet time for reflection, journaling, or a warm drink.
- Take breaks during work to step outside for fresh air, practice breathwork, or listen to calming music during your commute.
- Wind down after bedtime. Once the little ones are tucked in, I make time to relax. Whether it’s a soothing skincare routine, light stretching, or just sitting in silence, those evenings are for me.
These small moments add up, and they’re not just about rest—they’re about filling your cup so you can show up with more patience, peace, and joy for your family during this busy season.”
Don’t Be Afraid To Set Boundaries
“The holidays come with so many invitations and obligations that it can feel impossible to keep up. My advice? It’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s necessary.
Say yes to the events and traditions that energize you and your family, and don’t be afraid to skip the ones that feel draining. But for the commitments you do choose to attend, set clear boundaries to protect your energy. For example:
- Time limits: Let your host know when you’ll be arriving and leaving, so you can manage your schedule and avoid overstaying when you’re tired.
- Pace yourself: Don’t feel pressured to say yes to every event back-to-back. Give yourself buffer days to rest between commitments.
- Plan recharge time: Build in moments of calm, like a walk outside or a quiet evening at home, before or after social events.
- Communicate your needs: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, share that with your partner or a trusted friend and plan together how to navigate your obligations.
Setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no—it’s about showing up fully for the things that truly matter to you. It’s an act of self-care that lets you enjoy the season without burning out.”
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
“It’s easy to get caught up in making everything perfect, but perfection isn’t what makes the holidays memorable. Your kids won’t remember whether the cookies were Instagram-worthy or if the gifts had matching bows. What they’ll remember is the time you spent together and the love you shared.
Focus on the moments that matter. Give yourself permission to let go of what doesn’t. And most importantly, remember to honor your own needs so you can show up with joy and presence this season.”
Looking for more insight from Jaclyn? Follow her on Instagram here.
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